Deflection

Today is mom’s ninth birthday. Over the years, we have spent a major amount of time together through the fun and tragic times. I feel that we all ask the same question, where has the time gone? But, we have brought bright happiness into each other hearts.

I feel that I had a normal childhood with my mom until I was a junior in high school. With the high school having a work release program, I would get out of school early and go home to get ready for work. After I would was home, mom and I would spend time talking about any topic that we felt was relevant in depth. Although the high school staff thought that I was going to work on my dad’s construction site, that rarely happened, since there is not much a person can do coming in at the end of the day on house construction. After some discussion, mom and I would layout my work for the rest of the day. Since school started in the fall, there was firewood to deliver. As for the rest of the year, there was firewood to split and there was shop work, like maintaining equipment. Any work that had to be done. Starting in the spring of my senior year, my grandfather turned eighty acres of farm ground over to me to farm, so mom and I talked about farming after school and then I would head out to work in the fields. She some insight into farming, by grow up on a farm. As I look back at the time that mom and I spent after school, this was the most meaningful times of my life, since our discussions gave me a direction in my life.

After high school, mom and I always found time to talk to each other in depth, just the way that my grandfather Walton and I found time to talk in depth. Mom and I talked about me going to a technical college after high school and then in to college. Although I struggled in school, I made it through the tough times. When I went to work for the Iowa DOT, I talked to my parents once a week. After my parent’s divorce, I talked to my mom once a week. Through the years we took many vacations together, and we always had so much to talk about through the years. Just before I moved in with mom after my retirement, I called her at 9:00 on Sunday evenings. I do not know why we settled on this time, but mom would stated that she usually was in bed at 9:00 on every other night, and she did not want to change the time.

Life is nothing but memories, but now my mom does not remember all the hours that we spent together. All of the in depth conversations that formed my life. When I am with her, she just hangs on my arm and states that I am a good man. She has stated her feelings for me during this period of time that I will never forget. Dementia is such a bad disease, and the pre mourning the person’s death is hard, especially when the person is sitting next to you for the years before the person pass on. Do not take me wrong, it is great to have them around as long as possible, but the missing memory is so hard.

It is hard to know how much longer she will be around for us to enjoy, but the time is worth it, since it does bring back positive memories. I love you mom.

Roger