Deflection

Children that are not heard as they grow up will face many difficulties in life. They are not just children that the adults do not have to listen to for a number of unexplainable reasons. Children want people of all ages to notice them, to be with them, and listen to them. If children are not listened to, they will probably struggle through their life.

People have heard it many times: “they are children and we do not have to listen to them”; “they will get over it, since they are only children.” These two statement are far from the truth. It is interesting that adults will state that children will get over things in their childhood, since most adults can vividly remember their childhood when they are senior citizens. These are bad statements.

Children want to be loved and listen to everyday. Everyone knows what happens to children when there are not loved, since they may turnout to be social out cast. Not a good situation. But, what happens to the children that are not listened to as they grow up? Even if children are bought up in the best of conditions, they can struggle through out their lives, if the adults do not listen to them. Not listening to a child will set behavior issues in the minds of children that will be with them for the rest of their lives. It can be so detrimental to the child, the adults, and everyone that is around the child. This can become a sad situation.

What does a child think when no one listens to them? “I have no value to others.” “My words are meaningless.” “No one respects me.” “No one cares about me.” This list can go on and on, but it becomes obvious what is going on in the mind of the child. Then they hear the cruel words: “they are only children and do not need to be listened to.” By taking a closer look at the dynamics here, the pain that these children go through as they hide in their bedrooms ruminating negative thoughts is so wrong.

When these children finally get a chance to be heard, they explode with word that may not even make sense. And then, when they get in to school, they can become bullies because they finally have a chance to express themselves (even negative attention is better than no attention). To think about it, if children would be listened to before they got to school, they would probably not be bullies. And, now the sad part comes in, everyone around the bullies have to put up with the poor behavior that does not need to be there from the early days of the children’s development.

As children get older, the issues just become more of a problem. Maybe back talking becomes a way that the child can get attention, because they are not being listened to from the adults. They want to stand up for their rights, but they are not being listened to by others.

What about the commanding voice of adults? It is unfortunate that we live in out high technical world that was not the case many years, since children did not have to worry about things like being electrocuted by items around the house, being burnt by the stove, watching out for the traffic next to a street or Highway, and the list goes on and on. The adults have to be conscience of these item around children. Often the adults will use a commanding voice to teach the children to watch out for these items. But, more often than not, the adults will use a commending voice to direct the children and/or tell the children that they are not living up to the selected adult’s (parent’s) preconceived lifestyle. Just because a child does not live up to the selected lifestyle, they can be really hurtful. The adults needs to teach the children their lifestyles exception. Far too often, the hurtful words of the adults have a negative effect on the children’s lives.

A child is not a bad person just because they are not preforming to the adult’s preconceived lifestyle . Much too often children are punished, including spankings, for not living up to the adults lifestyle when they have done nothing wrong. This is wrong, because a child needs to be disciplined when they knowingly have done something wrong; otherwise, children need to be taught what is right and what is wrong.

This essay would not be complete without writing about spankings that can devastate children. With the undeveloped mind of children, they often do not understand why they are getting a spanking. They learn to fear adults, since they can be hurtful; and they going into hiding so that they will not be exposed to the adults for another spanking. Once again, these spanking can lead to a hidden adult live.

Once a child becomes a teenager, if they have not been listened to, they will end up in trouble in the world around them. They will stop listening to the adults, since the adults have afflicted them with pain. How much trouble will they get into? That depends on the individual child and the trouble maybe minor or it maybe in trouble with the law. But, no matter on how one looks at this issue, the child/teenager is screaming for attention, since they have never been listened to their whole lives.

What about the children/teenagers that do not retaliate? They have to store up all of the aggression. Sometimes in the news, we see a loner come out with an our bust of violence, like Columbine, Colorado. The thing that is so sad about this issue is that they finally get their name in the news, but this is not the best way to get attention.

What may happens when a male child that grows up feeling that they have no relationship with their father, like having an alcoholic father. Many times they turn to homosexual activities behind the back of their father. They figure if their father is not going to pay attention to them that they will perform homosexual activity in spite of their dad. The word “spite” is a powerful word that can ruin anyone’s life. These children need counseling to show them the a mature world, but the world does not need to praise them for their homosexual activity.

What happens to the good kids that do not retaliate? These are the adults that suffers through life. When they are suffering through life for no apparent reason, since they do not know what a fair and balanced up bring looks like, they will probably turn to hundreds of hours of counseling, including anti depression medication, to make sense out of their lives. They may become introverts that stay away from the crowds, since they have no trust in people. It can be riveting for an adult that was not listened to understand that they grow up in a toxic family. The struggle can be a life long experience.

It is so interesting that people will state that an infant is so precious, and that is a true statement. As for some adults, they run with that impression raising the child. But, as for the adults that do not want to listen to children, the precious infant be comes a nightmare. It is not that hard to sincerely hold, cuddle, care, love, and listen to a child/teenager to make a great difference in their lives. The big word here is for the adults to be “sincere” with these children/teenagers.

All children are brought up into different environments when they are born, with some families that want to raise quality children to those adults that raise unwanted children. For those that are born in to wanted families, they may receive support through their lives for a quality life, but there are families that may not give the children the support, for many known reasons, that they need to become adults. As for the unwanted children, they will probably not be listened to, and live a difficult life. It is amazing that some of the unwanted children do grow up to make for a meaningful life, so it become important to look at the desires of each child, too, since they will plot their own course of life as they struggle through life.

The sadist statement that parents can make is: “once my teenage is eighteen, they are out of the house.” Most adults have heard this statement too much, with the parents admitting that they have never heard a word that their child has made since birth. And then people wonder about the ills in this country, but it starts by taking the time to listening to a child.

A question common is: how does two people come out of the same family environment be so different. Although there are probably many reasons why, research is now showing that people are born with preconceived notions, as described by Professor Indre Visknotas, University of San Francisco. By taking an issue that has been in the news, two children coming out of the same family may have one for and one against racism. Although mortal teaching of these two children are the same, the preconceived notions that they were born with may be polar opposites. Furthermore, the two children may be treated differently by the people around them as they grew up leading to polar differences in the two children.

A grandmother made the statement that parents should never give up on their children. This goes back to the statement about sincerely caring for a child. This statement makes it clear that it is going to take work to bring a child up to a meaningful life. When an adult is put into an environment to raise a child, are they ready to put the needed work into raising children into quality life? This probably depends on the environment that the child is brought up in through their meaningful years development. This grandmother was correct: once there is a child in the family, it is up to the adults to nurture the child into a quality life.

It does not take much to have a child sit on an adult’s lap and listen to the child. When a child know that what they are saying is important to those that are around them, this really builds strong character in the child, they feel like they are important, and they feel like their life is important. If children have positive discussions with adults, this will relieve the stress that they have in their bodies and they will learn to talk in depth to the ones that care about them through their life. By listening to children starting at a young age, the adults are build a quality life for the child. If the adults wait until the child is older to take them on their laps and listen to them, it will be harder for them to relate to each other. Just imagine if a bully in grade school would have been placed on an adult’s lap and listened to at a young age; there would have been an entirely different child.

It is amazing how many discusses there are on what makes an adult. Let’s just take narcissism for example, what makes this type of human behavior individuals? After writing this essay, it becomes clear that main issue is that they were not listened to as a child. And then, by looking at the number of people with personality disorders, is it that hard to pick up a small child and listen to them? It cannot be that hard to care enough to bring up a quality person.

Roger