Deflection

A narcissist is omni-present, and they make others feel that their observation on any given topic is worthless. In the absences of a narcissist, when they return, they will tell the observer exactly what happened in their absences, despite the fact that the observer seen the whole incident. This leads observer feels that they have no self worth.

To show this point of view, this essay will like a fictional incident. (The writer did grow up on in a dairy farm community, the writer had friends that grew up on a dairy farm, but this incident does not reflect on their treatment on the farm. It is written for the soul purpose of showing a narcissist in action.) With the father running his own business installing and maintenance of agriculture equipment on other farms in the community, the oldest son a senior in high school was left milking the cows twice a day. After the son brought the cows in late on an afternoon for milking, he noticed that one of the cows had injured her udders in the woods. The back right teat was cut and bleeding. He treated the udder that evening, but he was not able to milk it. Two afternoons later, his dad came walking through the barn and noticed the cow had mastitis, since the son was unable to milk the teat out. As father was walking past his son, he stated that the son was not milking the udders out. Although his dad kept walking to the end of the barn and out to the manure stacker, since he wanted to look at some of the details on the stacker, he appeared to be listening to his son explain that the udder was injured. On the father’s trip back through the barn, he was forceful telling his son that he need to milk out the cows, and, as a dig, he stated that not milking out the udder was a loss of revenue. Then following up by stating that he needed to get the teat treated and milked, as if the son was not already trying to get the cow back on line for milking. This is a typical narcissist telling the observer that he is not milking out the udders and not listening to the observer. To carry this story one step further, what would have happen if the narcissist found out that they are wrong, and the cows udder was actually injured. This is a problem for the narcissist, since they can never show weakness by admitting that they are wrong. Then the narcissist would still have to state that the udder is not getting milked out and the son was wrong not milking the teat, since the teat was not injured so bad that it should have not been milked. In this incedent, the son cannot win, but only lose.

In this situation, the son comes out feeling worthless. The parents have given the son responsibilities that he can clearly handle, including treating the cow’s udder, but he is young and has a limited understanding of the world around him. He does not know that his father was raised in a dysfunctional family, and his dad was forcing him to feel the pain of his aggressions from his dad.

As for this story, it might be best to speculate on the future of the son. As with his dad, he will probably that these feeling of worthlessness with him through his live, since he has been hurt so bad at such a young age. The cycle will be transferred from one generation to the next. This is sad. But, since this is the oldest son, and by being oldest sibling by position does have the highest intelligence with a high curiosity, might not follow the cycle. With the given curiosity, this sibling may have other interest that would take their mind off of the past. Also, if the younger siblings are protected, they might might escape the cycle with other interests.

In today’s work environment, supervisors may take on this narcissist behavior, since they are put in the middle of a bad situation. They have managers that are giving them too much work that may take them away from the workers for periods of time, and then they have to supervise the workers. With the mangers having them work on out of the work unite, especially if there is a shortage of work staff, the supervisor is not around to supervise what is going on in their absence. Then, in order for the supervisor to save face with their manger, they will tell the works what took place when they were gone and drive the workers mad. How can the supervisor tell me what is going on when they are not here. To add the the supervisor work load, they will have to work on replacing the workers that left because they were not listened to in the supervisor absents.

There is nothing more infuriating than having someone that is not there at the time of an incident telling the observer that what they saw was just wrong. They are telling the observer that what really happened. In this environment, there is nothing good. The professional councilors will state that it is best to leave this kind of environment.