Deflection

It is a nice day here in the state of Arkansas just west of the city of Memphis, Tennessee. After being a little cold in the forties last night, it is up 69 degrees this afternoon. I am in the Village Creek State Park, and it is a nice park with plenty of hiking trails, but the down side is that there is no internet here, with the campground being like in a canyon, with high creek banks all the way around, except for the entrance. It is nice and flat, but makes the internet connection bad. There are very few camps in the park, although it is nice it is a little lonely, but it must be that time of the your when not too many people are around. I got my hiking in this morning, although the hiking trails are not being used this time of the year, and I went over to the park office to use their internet router this afternoon.

It is a tough question to ask if narcissism is a learnt behavior. As for some, like those that are easily addicted to substances, the answer is probably that they were born that way. But, as it seems like the bigger question is, does it run through the generations in a family and the answer is yes, unfortunately. As for those that grew up in a narcissistic family, it is possible to break the cycle, but that is a tough accomplishment.

Roger

Essay – Narcissism A learnt Behavior

With in the past couple of years, I discussed with a church pastor narcissism, and he stated that it seems like it is passed down through the generations of a family. It may be hard to determine if narcissism is genetic, but once the behavior is set into a family it seems like it take a major focus through the generation, unless an offspring focuses on stopping the cycle. However, if one wants to look at the other end of the spectrum, it is good to have people with empathic behavior.

With in the past couple of years, I discussed with a church pastor narcissism, and he stated that it seems like it is passed down through the generations of a family. It may be hard to determine if narcissism is genetic, but once the behavior is set into a family it seems like it take a major focus through the generation, unless an offspring focuses on stopping the cycle. However, if one wants to look at the other end of the spectrum, it is good to have people with empathic behavior.

Regarding those that are hard wired narcissist, there behavior is obvious to those that are around them, and others have to learn to stay away from them, since their behavior is hurtful to people that lead a quality life. If a person does not have a quality live as observed by the narcissist, then there is no reason to bring them down to their level.

In the days of large families, the location of the children by sex could lead to narcissism, when one of the children felt like they were not getting the attention that the others were getting. This would lead to the child taking control of family members to build themself up to feeling that they were someone. Of course, this would leave the other in the family wondering where this family member is coming from with their despicable behavior. But, regarding a more impossible issue, this learnt narcissistic behavior by the family member that felt left out that would follow them for the rest of their life.

When it is easy to see narcissistic behavior being used from one generation to the next generation in a family, it is impossible to know how the behavior was started, but the passing of narcissism from generation to generation is easy to see. In this essay, we will start with a child in a narcissistic family. As a child observes their parent’s behavior, some children will determine how they are going to treat their children before they are out of grade school, regarding research at Iowa State University. The point here is that children will learn from their parents behavior at a young age. As for the family cycle of spreading narcissism down through the generation, this discussion will start with the parent.

As the parent is hurt from the aggression of their parents, they have a feeling of insecurity, or a hollow feeling. The child is going to feel the parent’s insecurities and poor parenting skills. To start with, this is the saddest part of narcissistic behavior is the parent, unable to express their feeling to their parents, are now coming down on their children so that the child feels the pain of the parent’s pain from their childhood. The sad part that the narcissist parent might be coming down on the child for doing something wrong, or the narcissist parent might be coming down on the child for doing something that is not acceptable eyes of the parent (nothing wrong), and the parent is either verbally abusive, or gives spankings, until they see that the child feels the parent’s childhood pain. By looking at the deep insecurities of parent, the parent really does not know what they are doing, since all that they know is that they are feeling better, since their child is feeling there childhood behavior.

The narcissist parent will watch every move that their family, since they do not want to be embarrassed by any family member. With the parent is so insecure, they want to be in control of every family member. The pressure by the insecure parent is unbearable for everyone around this person. Although this is the major fundamentals of the narcissist parent’s behavior, the insecurities and poor parenting skills goes much deeper and will be covered in upcoming essays.

The child is bewildered by the parent’s behavior. Why is my parent coming down on me when I did nothing wrong? This is a big question that the child will ask themselves for years to come. But, even more important, the child will start to find ways to protect themselves from the insecure parent. They will be come home bound, with the approval of the insecure parent, so that they will not find themselves in trouble with the parent. With the insecure parent come down on they with force all the time, they become introvert, and they are forced to hold all of the aggressions from the parent inside themselves. Since their parent will not allow them to express their inter feelings, they become insecure like their parents. They are forced to take control of every situation to express the feeling that they have balled up inside of themselves. The cycle continues from generation to generation.

Occasionally, a child will figure out that the aggression that they are receiving from their parent is wrong, and, as stated above, they figure this out probably sometime in joiner high. They determine that this insanity should not continue, since it is so hurtful. At that age, they probably determine that there is a problem with the parent, but they are too young to understand what is going on in their life. There is a phrase called word salad that means a narcissist will come at their victim from many different sides and that they will change the discussion issue many times to fit their needs. As for the child, they are being hit with word salad daily. They will take what ever steps that they can to please the narcissistic parent, but it is self filling prophecy , since there is no way to please a narcissist. The youth will play along during there years at home, but it takes a toll, since, in this case referring to a boy, some boys will feel that they are not worthy enough to court a girl, and the years of unworthiness may go into decades.

There is one other point here. People that are easily addicted by genetics can easily become narcissistic. With their life out of control by the addiction, they become narcissistic in order to take control of the environment around them. There offspring will feel the same pressures as a narcissistic parent.

As strong as a narcissistic parent is to their offspring, it becomes difficult to determine if the narcissism is hard wired in the gens or if it is a leant behavior. But, in some cases, it is a learnt behavior, with a little help of the right gens to help the narcissism along in a person. But, for those that are easily addicted by genetics, it becomes obvious that these individuals are hard wire to be a narcissist. Therefore, regarding the question if narcissism is hard wired in to the gens or a learnt behavior, the answer is both. Therefore, regarding a bigger question, does it make a difference if it is hard wired or learnt behavior, the answer is that victim gets treated the same way under both accounts. Furthermore, regarding this personality disorder, they are so devastating that they can destroy families. This is sad.