Deflection

Even before we started Kindergarten, it seems like we have been exposed living an environment were time is part of our lives. But then the bell rings for the first day of Kindergarten, and our whole life is based around time. However, for people suffering from dementia, time does not mean anything any more. Although it should like a simple statement to take time out of a person life, the caregiver for a dementia person is met with extreme frustration, since they are still on a time schedule.

I have been there. It is 4:00 in the afternoon and the dementia person wants supper now, and it does not good to tell them that supper will be in two hours. Out of frustration, supper is given at 5:30, since the caregiver does not want to keep eating the whole day long.

By observation, it is interesting watching them finding a time to eat. On morning more toward the winter time of the year, I heard noises in the hallway at 1:30 in the morning. Here comes mom fully clothed going to the kitchen and demanding breakfast. To no avail, you show her the clock and that it is totally dark outside. She has breakfast anyway and goes back to bed.

I have seen a breakfast within thirty minutes of the original breakfast and a lunch within an hour and half after the original lunch. This is when it becomes obvious that time is irrelevant in their minds. They are no longer connected to the clock.

One might ask on how they might see time? This question is impossible to answer, but there are a few indications. One, they eat when they feel hungry, since they become so finicky about eat different foods which means that they are not eating complete meals. On a second note, they eat to fill in time, since they are so bored. For example, a person might think that you can have a dementia person watch television, but they can no long follow the plots of any television program, and, at that time, they feel that television is something loud and uncomfortable to be around. Actually, the dementia person is unaware that time exist and this become difficult to meet appointments.

Where does this put the caregivers? They become extremely frustrated. If someone spends an hour preparing a meal for the demential person and themselves and the demential person has no interest in coming to the dinner table, this is frustrating. The simple answer to the question is that the person is not going to be there on time any more. And, since they no long have a reference to time, it no longer makes a difference when a meal is served. How about what is served? At there stage of dementia, they are probably not going to appreciated a well prepared mail and it seems like they will enjoy a meal that can be eaten at any time of the day.

To get a dementia person to the doctor’s office on time can be challenging. It seems like there is only one answer: start early. To get a dementia person dressed, moving in the right direction to the vehicle, and in the waiting room, it might be best to spend extra time in the waiting room than being late.

With dementia people it is really hard for the caregivers, since you really need to out think the next move. But, with dementia, there is no way to out think their next move, since the dementia person will have a different perspective each time that they are in the same circumstance.

Once a caregiver understands that time is irrelevant for the dementia person, then there is a comfort level for the caregiver. There needs to be an understanding that the quality and time of the meals are irrelevant, since it is more important that they have good meals when they are ready to eat. Meeting appointments will be difficult. But, in the end, it is important for the caregiver to know that they have meet the challenge, since the dementia person will never remember this time in their lives.